My story is like most so I don’t like to go into that as much because we have all lived that. For me the struggle just seemed like a way to stop the thoughts in my mind because I did not want to face reality. And that was the fear I had about just living with the torments of my past. At a young age most of the people I love kept dying around me. So the reason I used if so I would have something that didn’t leave me alone. The insanity that I thought it would help me made me more alone then I would ever dream. With that I chose to walk with death and never cared about the loved ones that I left hurt and begging for me to be me. That was something though I didn’t know how to do was to be me. I chose to tear my world apart and destroy every good thing to come my way because I did not want to succeed and the drugs aided me in that goal. And then one day I saw a video from a man by the name of Chris Herren and that changed my life. It showed me that the pain that I felt and that the pain that I cause other people could be forgiven and that I could be a person a human and that I didn’t have to be alone. And for the first time I cried I fell to my knees and ask God if I could ever have something like that if I could have a relationship with my children and would they forgive me. Because for once in my life I wanted to be a father I wanted to be someone and I wanted to use the hurt in the pain that I endured that I caused others to do something wonderful and to help someone. I finally found a reason to live and found the strength to do something positive for myself to be able to be something positive in life. And at that moment I realized it was not hopeless I realize God has a purpose for me. And helping others has become a true happiness Within Me and that hopelessness has faded and I realize that I can be part of something amazing that no medicine or science can fix. I can actually share my pain with another and finally be of service just for today. One day at a time and now I feel blessed to be productive to be of service and I would not trade it for anything in the world because it’s the greatest gift that I was granted my second chance.