When I was a little boy I was always different in someway I didn’t quiet learn as quickly as others did. I was a boy trying to figure things out on my own but sometimes it seemed so difficult. I just didn’t comprehend what the story was about instead i would pick one thing that was in the story that was the least important thing about the story or book. I wasn’t the most liked or popular person in school and sports and is what kept me busy from a little boy up until I graduated high school. I hated being different from everyone else always in special classes seperated from classmates. I wasn’t born to be a addict and didn’t live in a addict home but always seemed one thing always lead to another thing. When did I know everything was starting to get out of control? I was about 19 years old hanging out with the wrong croustade living in the moments scared because drugs were taking control over my mind my body and soul and I didn’t know how to quit. Every time I quit after 12 hours or so I would start sweating down my forehead and then everyone thought I was exercising or just finished. I always experimented with new things but the drug of choice was weed and cocaine. I would spend days up at a time because I was so strung out and would find any way to get my hands on it because I loved the feeling. But it also did get very expensive and I could put it down for weeks at a time and then go back because alcohol was cheaper and where I lived in a mediocre sized town near Springfield ma there was a package store for about a block away. So I ask myself why did I choose this life? And my answer to my family is im not sure I think I was caught up being selfish and not sure where i was going in life. At 22 I had just bought a newer car a Mitsubishi Eclipse and within 3 months I had it flipped and totaled because I drank and fell asleep at the wheel and hit a telephone pole doing about 30 not knowing what town I was in or where my car was. I was rushed to ER with some cut scratches and bruises. When i got released I got a summons to court for oui marked lane violation. I did the time classes etc and back on the road I went. So we jump ahead a couple of years around the age 26 and still my addiction is out of control full blown by now alcohol cocaine weed everyday anytime in or out of work. Then I get busted for my 2nd dui on my way home from a wedding. I spent the weekend of Memorial Day weekend in jail. I was summoned to court and was released to my parents at my hearing. I lost my license for a year and had to do classes and complete a 2 week stay at a drug and alcohol facility which I did. I didn’t get my license back until I was 29 because I wasn’t working and funds wernt there to pay dmv. A year earlier I found out I had a daughter and she was about 8 months old and I am a completely different person now because she means everything to me and me and the mother of now my kids have a good relationship. I just had my 2nd child about 2 weeks ago it was the most wonderful experience and Emmalee is the most precious beautiful little. During my time during addiction that I battled i walked through many rehab facilities mostly there for a week or less. I walked into AA on July 8 2015 and never looked back always foward I’m now over 2 years sober and the people I’ve met through my journey are wonderful my family has been supportive and my ex girlfriend who I have 2 wonderful daughters with is supportive of everything I’ve struggled with. I thank god and the hope he gives me everyday and the advice of others in my daily routine of AA if your having trouble take a deep breath get on your knees and ask for it that is exactly what i did and it’s been working so far. So thank you for letting me share.
(One day at a time)