What good can come of grief?
I recently listened to a minister who was a bereaved mother, having lost her son in childbirth. She spoke about having been “broken open,” profoundly changed, and how it inspired her to accept her calling to lift and heal thousands of people. She now led a purposeful life and could recognize, and I paraphrase, that though she never would have wished for it, her son had done more for her in his death than he ever could have by living his life.
Her words, more for her in his death…struck me. Nine years ago, I lost my first-born son, my beautiful boy, Graham, at age 17, and that event completely and utterly changed my life. I, too, was “broken open,” and though I never would have wished for it, I can also say that I have found meaning in my life, a higher purpose and that it is all because of him. The minister had accepted her calling, directing her mother’s love toward service, and it remains a beautiful thing. Though she may not know her impact, I, for one, have been inspired by her sermons, and they have helped me find perspective through some of life’s most difficult tribulations.
Today, I give my heart and soul to the mission of helping others. Through Herren Project, I serve those affected by addiction. I have redirected my pain and converted it into fuel for action. My anger has converted to passion. I have undergone what I consider to be an alchemical process of transmuting grief into loving service, accepting the call to advance the humanitarian values that the Herren Project stands for, i.e., helping others in their time of need. I believe it is no coincidence that the alchemical yield rings the golden rule.
My grief has been a long and sometimes ugly process, but I have come through the worst of it and I have found a way to be at peace in my heart. I know that love never dies, and I bring forward the energy of our mother-son love connection in all that I do in my son’s memory. It is almost like he and I are playing a little game. He is my inspiration, the angel on my shoulder and I am his foot soldier to carry on his light in this world, to achieve what he could not or can not manifest for himself.
I have promised my son that I would do my best to help 1,000 souls just like him. I carry this promise in small acts of kindness to the young people that come into my life, the ones that are lost, lonely, or in need of a mother’s touch. I also do it by utilizing my God-given gifts and talents for mission-driven work. I contribute insight to Herren Project as I raise capacity funding to fuel prevention and recovery services to help others. My work and accomplishments at Herren Project are part of the legacy my son leaves behind. By working in the energy of love, I feel I have brought meaning to an otherwise senseless death. And in this way, I hope to bring peace to my son’s spirit so that he may rest easy knowing the golden yield was worth living and dying for.
To those that are grieving, please know Herren Project is here to help. Grief groups are available to support you, and there are opportunities to get involved with our organization to raise funding to help others through Team Herren Project. Also, we accept memorial donations and legacy gifts to our endowment. To make a memorial gift, please donate here.
