Written by Teresa Cobleigh, Strategy & Communications Director
This is a story of tragedy but also of hope. It is a story of pain but also resilience, and ultimately one about enduring love. It is also about how one person can create a ripple and turn it into a wave of change in the fight against addiction.
One Mother’s Story
My name is Teresa. I am the mother of two beautiful boys, Graham and Spencer, who are both in spirit now. When I came to Herren Project in 2020, I had already lost Graham, my firstborn, at the age of 17. My personal experience fueled my passion to express my enduring love by helping others like my son. I came to believe it was right and good to contribute my talents and gifts to help others. I had much professional and lived experience and was quickly hired as Development Director at Herren Project.
I needed to join with others like me and to receive the support of a community that understood what I had been through and what we were still going through. For years after Graham passed, my younger son Spencer struggled with the same affliction. Herren Project helped my son Spencer during some critical transitions and helped me. I joined a family support group, gained insights from clinicians and peers, and became a part of its great big heart. I am truly grateful to belong to the Herren Project community.
During challenging times in my personal life, I took on a new role as Director of Strategy and Communications. My colleagues from Herren Project were with me when I heard the news that Spencer had succumbed to a fatal overdose after leaving treatment abruptly. And there it was – the unfathomable staring me in the face. Again. This time, I would no longer have my children to live for.
I had learned from my first tour with grief that nothing truly endures but love. No degree could prepare me for my journey and my lessons in humility. I had to fall to my knees, powerless, humbled, and broken; before I could rise again, I had to understand that I was no better or worse than any of my brethren. I now know wisdom comes from waving the white flag of surrender as you subjugate the ego rather than stroke the intellect. And dignity may emerge as you get up off your knees to serve a call greater than yourself. Failure and loss may spawn a rising torrent of spirit that lifts you on winds of hope for change.
Fast forward to now, and I am grateful for Herren Project. Thank you to the donors for making vital recovery and prevention resources possible for individuals, families, young people like my sons, and mothers like me. Thank you to the incredible team of compassionate people doing this work at Herren Project. I am proud to call you family. You are all part of the fabric that has supported me as I bring my passion as fuel for change.
Turning Grief into Action
I know there are countless Grahams and Spencers in this world with their lives on the line, and it gets me up every day to do the excellent work we are doing. I am not afraid to ask provocative questions to ensure we are doing the best job with our donors’ funds. Part of that requires keeping a finger on the pulse of the industry. So, with Herren Project’s support, I joined my local opioid task force and several workgroups at the state level. I was determined to be a voice at the table and to create necessary change, even if it meant making a few waves in small puddles to fight addiction in my local community.
Becoming a Wave-Maker
I accepted a volunteer position as co-chair for the task force’s legislative policy committee. Our group was small, but we had significant representation from state representatives, addiction practitioners, affected persons and family members, and staff from local government and the US Congress.
What did we do? We listened, learned from each other, deliberated, and testified. We unified around a central message: The addiction crisis should be a legislative priority, and everyone should have access to quality, affordable health care that covers substance use and mental health. We helped amend and pass several bills to bring treatment and recovery infrastructure to the state of Colorado.
Where there are voices, there are those who will listen, and when it comes to matters of the heart, especially with our young, people hear. Nowhere was this better illustrated than in the bill for Narcan in Schools. The City of Durango had lost a student to an overdose, and fellow students, in their grief and love for one another, petitioned the school and worked with their local representative to bring legislative action. Several showed solidarity for a law allowing students to carry Narcan in school to save a friend.
Members of our task force gathered for testimony at the Capitol. Legislators heard the good that can come from a young peer in recovery. They listened to students speak of their struggles and advocate for each other. Experts and practitioners educated the Education Committee. A father shared his story of reviving his daughter – the worst day of his life when he thought he had lost her, followed by the best day of his life – and it struck an emotional chord. Then I shared my story of woe – the mother who lost her two sons. My colleague followed my devastating story with her prevention efforts in schools.
I will never forget the tears of some of those state representatives and the undivided attention we had from both political sides of the aisle. The bill sponsors called some of us back for a hearing at the Senate Education Committee, and we testified again to see it through. The bill was signed into law, and outside of Colorado, it is referenced as a model law.
We Can All Be Wave-Makers
Small ripples can turn into great waves. What we do in one state, especially when it makes the news or is amplified, creates a ripple effect that grows. Our small actions – showing up, speaking up – can create a great wave of hope for the future, for the youth across a state, and others far and wide. It has inspired me to join others in a call for change: the students who stand up for each other and the parents who share their stories. Our voices are essential, and they are indeed making waves.
All of us can participate in making waves. Grief can be an incredible motivator to turn pain into passion and advocacy – love inspires that action. In our small acts of service, we can create the ripples that, in turn, make the wave. Every donation, big or small, contributes to the wave. It is a ripple of hope, a second chance, healing for a family member, the currency of our love. It fuels our excellent work and enables our human spirit to rise above and endure to overcome the greatest challenges of our day.
Overdose Awareness: A Call to Action
The reality is that drug overdose is a leading cause of death among young people today. We must continue to raise awareness, reduce stigma, and promote education about the dangers of drug use and the importance of prevention. Overdose can happen to anyone, and it often occurs unexpectedly, which is why immediate access to life-saving interventions like Narcan is so vital. It is why sharing our voices and putting our passion into action is critical.
We cannot bring back those we’ve lost, but we can work tirelessly to prevent others from experiencing the same heartache. Every conversation, every shared story, and every piece of legislation passed is a step toward a future where fewer families have to endure the pain of losing a loved one to overdose. Let us all commit to being wave-makers in this fight against addiction, turning our grief into action and our pain into purpose.
August 31 is National Overdose Awareness Day, the world’s largest annual campaign to end overdose, remember without stigma those who have died, and acknowledge the grief of family and friends left behind. This year’s theme is “Together We Can,” highlighting the power the community can have when we all stand together. Join us in creating a wave of change in the fight against addiction. Consider giving your time, talent, or treasure to the cause. Find a local event to support or join a coalition or committee in your state. Be a voice for those who can not share theirs. Consider a memorial gift to Herren Project to help provide free resources and support for the recovery and prevention of addiction to drugs and alcohol. With your help, change will come, and the future will be brighter because “Together We Can.”
